she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did i walk over a car last night?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
