i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
