come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
