You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
