Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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