She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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