haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
