around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
