Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
