That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
