She's JV to your varsity
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you traded sex for a burrito?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize