She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
