yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
