She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
