i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
