I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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