we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
