Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
