She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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