OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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