i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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