Rock
Scissors
Fuck
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
please come you make the beer taste better
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
