I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
