Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Two words: blizzard sex
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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