Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize