You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
