why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
