return my video game
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
