When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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