she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
