glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
