I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
