If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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