I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
