At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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