respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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