Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
