I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
