Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
wakey wakey hands off snakey
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
