can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
