I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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