We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
