Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
