just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
