It's just like the Real World with babies
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
