You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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