i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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