We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize