i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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