I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
