her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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