and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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