I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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