I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize