Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
