I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
