How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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