what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
