It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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