You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize