Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
