like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize