carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
sex in a hospital.. check
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
