i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
