I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Someone came in the potted fern
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
