He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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