YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
