Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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