I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
