All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There's always time for handjobs
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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