Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
