Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
