My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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