We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
