I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
